Blind Date vs Internet Date

Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date….a friend of a friend of a friend. You, foolishly, accept. Now there you are. It’s less than one hour since you were introduced. You are sitting in a Thai restaurant and you hate Thai food. The entrée has not yet been served. His idea of enlightened conversation is who will be in the final four…you aren’t into sports. He knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim….you haven’t sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. He says, “Volunteering is a waste of time because you can’t help ‘those people’ anyway.” You look at your watch; see that it’s only been 10 minutes since you last looked at it the last time and wonder how long it is before you can gracefully remove yourself from the situation. Been there?

Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. First, you don’t need to be introduced. You already know this man. You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the other’s favorite is Italian. The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests. He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. You look at your watch and discover that it is late…very late…where Has the time gone.

There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend “setting you up” and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn’t there? Now which one would you rather have?

Power through the people

Have you come across a person who is so naturally friendly that when you put him inside a room of strangers, he'll be friends with almost everyone in no time? We call such a people-person, someone unbelievably nice and charismatic that he can charm anyone into doing anything.

A socially-empowered person achieves so much greatness, basically because of the people that catapult him to success. He earns the trust and all-out support of the people, whom he had helped before. He never runs out of help. He can do anything with the plethora of people behind him. All because he knows he maximizes his social potential!

See, if you know your social skills and you make use of them, you will reach self-empowerment. Self-empowerment is making a general overhaul in your life and turning yourself into a happier and more successful person.If you can be one of those people-persons, then I can't see any reason why you will not succeed. You just have to know how to start.

1. Be genuine.

Hypocrisy will just bring you all the way down. Be genuinely nice and interested to people. Once they perceive that you are Mr. Hypocrite with selfish intentions, you might as well say goodbye to self-empowerment.

2. Be the greatest listener that you can be.

To earn the love and trust of the people, listen to their problems and sympathize with them. Do not just hear them out, listen to them with your heart. Make eye contact when the person talks to you. Listen as if every word matters, and it does. Brownie points when they find out that there is a confidante in you.

3. Laugh out loud.

I do not mean that you force yourself to laugh for every joke cracked by someone, albeit you do not find it funny at all.This means finding humor in things and not being too darn serious. A person oozing with an awesome sense of humor attracts crowds and eventually, attracts success.

4. Don't forget yourself.

In the process of fluttering around like a social butterfly, you might forget yourself, allowing everyone to push you over. Remember, love and value yourself before anyone else. If you deem yourself respectable and worthy of affection, people will flock to you and not trample on you.

5. Do random acts of kindness.

You don't have to do a John Rockefeller and blow your savings to charity. Little acts of kindness matters the most, and this can be as simple as giving someone a surprise you-take-care card or helping an elderly cross the street. When we were kindergarten students, kindness was taught to us and greatly practiced. Now is the time to revive the good deeds and this time, let them stay for good.

6. Contact your old friends.

Sad how some friendships are destined to goodbye, but thanks to technology, you can do something about it. Relive the good old days by flipping your yearbook and look for the great people whom you want to communicate with again. Adding these old friends to your roster of support peers will surely make you feel good all over.

7. Develop your personality.

Are you grouchy, grumpy and generally morose? Whoa, you can't go through life with those. Get rid of the bad traits and habits that perpetually hamper your growth. And really, who wants a grouchy friend anyway?

8. Be confident.

Be able to stride to the other corner of the room and introduce yourself to people with that winning smile of yours. Just remember: be confident, not arrogant.

9. Practice control.

When angry, don't snap at anyone. Never throw a tantrum. Stay calm and collected. Be adult enough to take control of situation and transform your anger into something more productive and passive. As soon as people think your anger goes to volcanic proportions easily, they will find it hard to come to you.

10. Keep nurturing your relationships.

Your relationship with your family, friends and significant others is too precious that you must not neglect it whatever happens. Go out and have fun with them. Do things together. Happiness will never fly from your side as long as the people who matter the most are close to you.

In the end, using people for self-empowerment means becoming a better and more lovable person. It's a win-win situation: the people know they can turn to you anytime and vice versa.

Creating Effective and Efficient Relationships

Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

Building an effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.

An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other parties' feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them

The divorce is finally over

No more fighting over who gets to keep the home and other real estate. Those leather couches, and the expensive art hanging on the walls of your summer home. A drop in the bucket compared to the company that both of you slaved over to build or the family pet that made your kids so happy. But even now, all that looks small compared to the most important issue of all: child custody. But hey—all of this is over. Resolved. Now you can breathe a sigh of relief. You’ve probably been wondering about your future – without your x. Yes, being single again definitely has its benefits. Maybe you’re going out more, enjoying life, and watching your diet. It’s those little things you haven’t enjoyed in a long time that suddenly make life worth living–again.

Free Holiday E-Book

I have a nice ebook about holiday traditions that I would like to give to you absolutely FREE of charge. Please email me dottye789@earthlink.net to get your copy.

Stop Dragging Your Past into Present Relationships

Expressed as a two-way bridge between childhood and adulthood, magical thinking is a developmental stage during childhood that serves a very important function in the process of creativity and imagination. Like so many of our developmental constructs, when magical thinking is held onto and not revised in the light of reality it becomes maladaptive.

Christmas Survival Tips For The Divorced & Single Parent

For the over 50% of marriages that end in divorce, Christmas can be a hugely trying time. Since the season is one of the most stressful times of the year anyway, this onslaught of depression to the divorcee can be overwhelming. This is reflected in the Christmas surge of suicide rates. The feelings are that much more intense if there are kids involved. I truly learned that the biggest gift you can give the people around you, especially your kids, is your own survival. That's what they'll always remember.

Here are some helpful tips for you if you are facing the holidays as a newly-divorced or separated parent:

Step 1 - Do not be alone.

You have to reach out and ask for support, from family, friends or whomever. If things get really bad, the Suicide Crisis Line is always there to re-assure you.

Step 2 - Know you are not alone and connect with other people in your same circumstance.

I took some classes at a local university in the town to which I relocated after the abusive breakup of my first marriage. Although I was there to get my teacher certification, I met several people over the next year, male and female, who were in the same boat as I was. I did meet one special man, whom I dated for a few years.

Step 3 - Do not feel guilty.

Your kids are enjoying two Christmas celebrations instead of just one. What kid wouldn't love that?

Step 4 - Give to charity or volunteer at the Food Bank.

This really helped me realize that even in my pain and sadness, I still had food and a home. There were people much worse off then I was.

Step 5 - Don't be so hard on yourself.

From the time we were kids, the Christmas season commercial frenzy creates a ton of expectations in all of us. During divorce, with your own kids jumping between houses, those expectations become very difficult if not impossible to maintain. This compounds the feeling of being a failure because you cannot emotionally keep pace with the joy you see around you.

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Environment and Relationships

Relationship Strained? Try Creating the Right Environment.

Good loving takes some advance planning and effort. Good loving also takes practice and energy. Stop taking your relationship for granted and Plan for a great relationship.

Women with kids are nearly always exhausted. Their husbands don’t seem to get it. They don’t know the women are exhausted. They focus entirely on how hurt they are that their own personal sex goddess has turned on them.

Secrets to a Good Relationship

Is there really a Secret how to have a good relationship? In my opinion there is no set way. Everybody is Different. What works for one couple might not work for another. But there are ways to make a relationship work.

According to studies, The first 9 years of a relationship are the most critical. I do not claim to be an expert on this subject. This is my own personal opinions And experiences. When I first meet a person I like going to a quiet place and get to know them, and learn their likes and dislikes and Finding out if we are at all compatible. One thing I don't do is pretend I am someone I'm not. I figure if they don't like who I am then why bother?

Part of being yourself is being honest on your feelings and thoughts. For the most part I am very direct but I do think of the other persons feelings. Being totally honest is very important in a relationship. If I don't like what my partner is saying or doing how will he know if I do not tell him so he doesn't keep doing the same mistake over and over making me more angry.

I feel compliments get you everywhere. If I look exceptionally nice or have a new outfit on I want to know they notice. I think every woman loves that and it makes them feel special and loved. And in turn give complements to my partner also. If he is wearing a Cologne I like I let him know by saying something like oh your wearing a different Cologne I like it.

In a way I guess it comes down to: Treat people the way you like to be treated and everything will be fine. I am not saying there will be no differences of opinions but when that happens if you discuss them and come to A compromise you come out on the winning end on the most part.

How to maintain a relationship

I have to make one small assumption if you are reading this article. You are in a relationship. Now, I am not going to speculate how good or bad the relationship is-I am just going to assume that things are going well, but you just want a little more information to back up all the thoughts you have had about maintaining your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

It is such a great thing to be in love and in a relationship. There is nothing better than having your best friend with you, to share in all the great moments of your life and to comfort you when the world seems to be at your throat. In order to maintain a relationship long enough to realize they really are your best friend takes time and some honesty.

The first thing you want to make sure you always do is to be honest. The little white lie about her hair looking great or that you don’t mind his torn t-shirt, is okay for a while. Just don’t make a habit out of this. Eventually that hair or torn t-shirt is going to be the catalyst that has both of you fuming over something that really has nothing to do with what you’re screaming at each other in the moment.

Second, don’t take each other for granted. In order to maintain a relationship you have to look at your partner, knowing that they are an individual as well as a half of you. They are a person too and not a lesser being that is always there when you get home.

It doesn’t take much to show that person that you care and don’t take them for granted. One thing I always do is tell my spouse that I appreciate them. I tell them often too. It isn’t much, but is enough to just let them know how I feel.

These are just two concepts that you should keep in mind for maintaining a relationship. If you treat your other half how you would like to be treated, then I bet you will get even more in return. Good luck.

Does the word “Dating” make you sweat?

It is an essential evil to finding anyone out there who might be compatible with you and possibly be the one that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. There are a many people out there who seem to make dating look easy, but for most of us it is a complete nightmare to work up the nerve to go over and start talking to a member of the opposite sex that doesn’t know you from the next stranger.

So how do you go about getting a date? Here are a few pointers below.

1. Just be yourself. I know…I know, you’ve heard this one so many times you are ready to pull the tongue out of the next person who says it to you. This is actually the number one best thing you can do. Just relax and be yourself.

By not pretending to be the coolest guy since George Clooney, you take a massive amount of pressure off yourself and can focus on just being pleasant and noticing the fine qualities of the person next to you.

2. Prepare yourself for rejection. It is a fact of life. Not everyone you meet is going to think your better than sliced bread. Get over it. The better you deal with rejection the more confident you will become. The more confident you become the better you will get at dating. See how everything is going hand in hand here. (Just all part of my plan.)

3. Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself. You only live once, according to some people, and by giving yourself permission to make a fool of yourself, you can alleviate some of the stress of worrying about it. If you do happen to do something stupid, be the first one to laugh at yourself. Often this is a great way to get back those cool points that you just dropped on the floor.

Dating doesn’t have to be a scary proposition. Just take these few pointers here and get started. The more you start asking people out and going out on dates the better you will get at it. Good luck.

Attracting True Love

It’s very simple, but some people won’t believe it. If you want love from another, if you want the perfect mate, you first have to LOVE YOURSELF!!! The reason for this is that our thoughts attract to us exactly what we think we deserve. If we love ourselves, we will attract a good partner. If we don’t love ourselves, we will attract an unsuitable partner, perhaps an abuser. I know- I am a survivor of domestic violence, and I didn’t love myself until just a few years ago.

The first step involved is to gain an awareness of the fact that we are not always in full control, even of our own minds. This is often in direct conflict with our ego who likes to imagine all is under its control; however, we must not let delusion get the best of us. One simple way of understanding this is to think about what happens when we try to keep something in mind for an extended period of time. What usually happens? The mind gets bored. When we wish to focus our mind on something, we tend to have to fight to keep it there. If we do not exert a substantial amount of effort, our mind will have the tendency to wander off to more exciting and alluring distractions. Just imagine the harm that this can cause in our magickal workings. Who knows what subconscious intentions we are putting into our works without even knowing it? The mind is moving and working constantly (even when we think we are holding it still), and we must continually remind ourselves of this if we are to one day master it. If we do not keep this knowledge firmly in mind, we will never pay close enough attention to the mind’s inner workings to see all of the subtle tricks that it can play.

The second step is to gain an awareness of the fact that we can at least have some control over this process through various techniques of mental cultivation. First, we have to work constantly at strengthening our mindfulness so that we can become increasingly more aware of what is actually going on within the vast, complex structure of our minds. In simpler terms, we must flex our mental muscles to keep them in shape, and exercise effort to keep our mindfulness sharp and alert at all times. Simple breath meditations or some other form of mindfulness training can be done to help develop this. Next, we need to observe these mental processes in action. We have to be as aware of our intentions as we can be (i.e. know why we are about to do something), and then observe the consequences of the actions that follow. Even after the fact -- when we believe the outcome of our actions to be good, bad, or neutral -- we still need to be aware of possible changes, since the full results can take time to mature. Quite often, the way that it usually works is that the mind intends, we act according to those intentions, and then we simply forget about it. This is just plain sloppy. We need to remain continuously alert and sensitive to what we are doing at any given time. The power we will eventually learn to wield is not a toy by any stretch of the imagination.

The third step is to refine the first two steps until they are able to be performed effortlessly. This means that we have to practice everyday, and constantly be aware of whatever arises in our experience regardless of the outcome. We must remind ourselves to pay close attention to these mental qualities, and what effect they have on our actions. If things are going well, we simply note that and try to learn why they seem to be going well. Conversely, if things are not going well, we simply note that and try to learn why they seem not to be going well. Sometimes we may learn that the reasons why things turned out the way they did were completely out of our control, but other times we may learn exactly what it was that we did to influence the outcome. In essence, we are becoming mindful of precisely how our intentions influence our actions, and how those actions produce results. In this way, we will learn to have more control over our magickal workings in the future. This is not the end of the training, however, because we still must work on the intentions themselves.

There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in it original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe. A thought, in this substance, produces the thing that is imaged by the thought. We can form things in our thoughts, and, by impressing our thoughts upon formless substance, can cause the thing we think about to be created.

Secrets to a Good Relationship

Is there really a Secret how to have a good relationship? In my opinion there is no set way. Everybody is different. What works for one couple might not work for another. But there are ways to make a relationship work. According to studies, the first 9 years of a relationship are the most critical. I do not claim to be an expert on this subject. This is my own personal opinions and experiences.

When I first meet a person I like going to a quiet place and get to know them, and learn their likes and dislikes and Finding out if we are at all compatible. One thing I don't do is pretend I am someone I'm not. I figure if they don't like who I am then why bother. Part of being you is being honest on your feelings and thoughts. For the most part I am very direct but I do think of the other person’s feelings.

Being totally honest is very important in a relationship. If I don't like what my partner is saying or doing how will he know if I do not tell him so he doesn't keep doing the same mistake over and over making me angrier. I feel compliments get you everywhere. If I look exceptionally nice or have a new outfit on I want to know they notice. I think every woman loves that and it makes them feel special and loved. And in turn give complements to my partner also. If he is wearing a cologne I like I let him know by saying something like oh your wearing a different cologne I like it. In a way I guess it comes down to: Treat people the way you like to be treated and everything will be fine. I am not saying there will be no differences of opinions but when that happens if you discuss them and come to a compromise you come out on the winning end on the most part.

Welcome to Relationships and You!

Hello freinds,

Welcome to Relationships and you. On this site I will be studying relationships, love, dating, romance, marriage and much more. I am by no means an expert, I am only using this site to store information I find, and report about relationships in my life and what I have experienced. Please consult a professional relationship counselor in your area for advice.

As I do my reseach I will post things I find here so I can scrutinize them further later. This way I can organize my notes on relationship issues and refer back to them later.

I hope my efforts here can help others in their research as well. There are many sites that cover topics like love, dating, romance and marriage and I will do my best to gather the best information here in one place.

Feel free to post comments, I'd love to hear your thoughts on relationships.